newbie love

I can't wait to hold him or her. The way you can only hold a newborn. The way the newborn fits perfectly in the crook of your arm and settles deep into contented bliss. The way a newborn eats and then looks up at you with a drunken milky smile. Then spits up and is still pretty happy that the world is all of your arms and Daddy's and your faces looking down at them. Lights and fans are just gravy.

I can't wait to see Diego with her or him. I wonder how he will be. I know he's going to be, as he usually is, a great helper to me and sweet with the newbie. Most of the time. Now I know he won't love them ALL the time, but I feel like they can have such a great friendship and sibling-ship (is that even a word?) and it's all still yet to be, and I get to see that grow! I hope I help it grow, too.

When I'm not completely in denial or scared about how this new little one growing in my belly will change us, I'm utterly excited. It's like waiting on a train platform for someone you've never met but you know you will love and who will fill your life and complete your little family is coming. Soon. But for now I'm sitting and waiting. Enjoying this space and place as much as I can before it changes.

There are gray clouds outside, drizzly rain and chill winds. There are birds chirping. We are all resting, napping or typing on computers or playing games. Just resting. And this is nice.