Diego isn't talking yet. At least not much verbally that is. He's 19 months old and has 4 (or 5 if you believe MOO is a word) verbal words and, oh, dozens of non-verbal and sign language words he uses regularly. He's understands everything. He can point to every single item in his many books, heck he can even pull the book I ask for off the shelf. He plays pretend with his toy animals and can feed himself with a fork and spoon. He's climbing up and can almost go down stairs without my help (with my heart in my mouth every time!). And I say these things because feel defensive and mother-bear-ish. But I also need to hear these things, to ingest them and let them strengthen my belief in his abilities.
And the belief in my own abilities as a Mom. Because deep down I think that's what really hurts. Feeling like I've somehow, unknowingly, let D down. So I'm going to focus on the positives. Otherwise I start to dwell on all that I could have done "better," "faster," "with flashcards."
If anyone else if struggling with this, here's a chart I found online that helped put things in perspective. Yes, D is behind on the talking, but he's ahead on so much more. Hope it helps you, too.
(D. looking at me like I'm crazy.)