Friday, July 31, 2009

dreaming of two

I had this dream early on in my pregnancy. It was vivid and visceral and simple. I was just laying on my bed with Diego and his little brother. We were all gasping after a fit of laughter and taking a deep breath. I immediately felt this feeling of powerful bear-momma love for my boys. My Boys. And felt it overwhelm me, covering the three of us like a blanket. This was before we knew that the baby would be a boy, but the dream felt right. Half of me knew, from that point on, that we would have another boy. (And for those of you who I haven't told, we are!) This dream has stayed with me, as something I hold on to when I'm thinking about the future with a second baby.

A second baby. Oh My Goodness. So I've been talking with other parents I meet at the park, the store, the street, um....everywhere, and every single parent has said that the second is HARD. And they all look at me and my hopeful gaze and I swear I can hear them thinking, "Oh...poor thing..." Then they gather their millions of bags and babies and run off in a tired whoosh.

I've been worried about how hard it will be with two. I thought having one was hard enough and now we're going to have to deal with another possibly non-sleeping sibling AND a rambunctious toddler to deal with?? How on earth does anyone do that?

I think I would be more freaked out if I didn't have that dream early on. It's like having a little assurance, a vivid memory that hasn't happened yet, that there will be times of pure love and simple rest. Sure it'll be hard. I probably don't know HOW hard it will be, but I love the thought of having a tickling fest with my boys on the bed and then resting together in quiet rest.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

pregnancy fun

Can we talk for a minute about inner baby wiggles? I absolutely LOVE how it feels when the baby moves around and bumps and bangs on my innerds. He's still small, so the bangs are sweet and mostly tiny...(Ok, except right NOW. Yeesh! HI BABY!! What on earth are you doing in there???) A few months ago I was looking at a very pregnant and lovely friend enjoy her inner baby bumps and I just wanted to melt. I missed that feeling so badly. Those shivers and wiggles and slips inside. And now I can feel them and I can't believe how much little little guy moves! What I love even more is now Jim can feel the baby move, too. Since we're not sure about a third, I'm trying to stop and really observe and remember these small movements. And when it's not waking me up in the middle of the night? It's wonderful, heavenly, weird, and really neat.

Another pregnancy perk? I'm nesting and throwing away stuff I haven't even looked at in MONTHS. Possibly years. Oh yeah. Whereas before I had trouble saying good-bye to shoes I haven't worn since college? Now it's good-bye everything that isn't tied down. I have lists, people, LISTS of things I want to do. All very doable. All good for making this more of a home. Which has been my goal all along. I think this will be a very good thing.

Oh my goodness, is everyone pregnant now? When are y'all due???? We're due for baby boy #2 around November 22nd. And the first sick thing that entered my mind when I heard the date? Phew. I can still watch the Twilight sequel before the baby gets here. Horrible. I know.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

off the face of the earth

Hmm....So I have this blog here that I've TOTALLY IGNORED. There are good reasons and, I have to admit, some horribly silly ones, too.

The good reasons? I've been feeling un-bloggy lately. I wanted to take a little break and it ended up being longer than I expected. I've also wanted to refocus and redo the blog and I thought what better way to do that than to give myself a new start? So I'll be saying good-bye to Boobeesah and moving over to Sweet Whimsey in the near future. Give me a few days to warm up to the blog and I'll let you know when the big move is.

The horrible, embarassing reasons? Twilight. I was re-reading the entire Twilight series. Which is a book I really tried to not like. There are a few things that I have conflict with; Bella's almost subservience to Edward and his over-protective tendencies come to mind...but I still absolutely LOVE them. Love them to the point where all I wanted to do was sit and read. Not even sleep was as important. And if you know me and my love of sleep, that's saying something.

I could lie and say I was exhausted from all the baby-growing. Which isn't a complete lie. (I am exhausted. Silly baby growing all huge and wiggly in my womb.) But I blame my obsession with reading for the absence. So here's a question for the day: What's your current secret obsession?