Sunday, May 31, 2009

newbie love

I can't wait to hold him or her. The way you can only hold a newborn. The way the newborn fits perfectly in the crook of your arm and settles deep into contented bliss. The way a newborn eats and then looks up at you with a drunken milky smile. Then spits up and is still pretty happy that the world is all of your arms and Daddy's and your faces looking down at them. Lights and fans are just gravy.

I can't wait to see Diego with her or him. I wonder how he will be. I know he's going to be, as he usually is, a great helper to me and sweet with the newbie. Most of the time. Now I know he won't love them ALL the time, but I feel like they can have such a great friendship and sibling-ship (is that even a word?) and it's all still yet to be, and I get to see that grow! I hope I help it grow, too.

When I'm not completely in denial or scared about how this new little one growing in my belly will change us, I'm utterly excited. It's like waiting on a train platform for someone you've never met but you know you will love and who will fill your life and complete your little family is coming. Soon. But for now I'm sitting and waiting. Enjoying this space and place as much as I can before it changes.

There are gray clouds outside, drizzly rain and chill winds. There are birds chirping. We are all resting, napping or typing on computers or playing games. Just resting. And this is nice.

Friday, May 29, 2009

a bookish friday

Diego is reading:

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood
On Top of Spaghetti illustrated by Gene Barretta
Go, Dog. Go! by P.D. Eastman

I am reading:

Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde (just finished)
The Well of Lost Plots (just started the audio book I have but never listened to)
How Green Was My Valley by Richard Llewellyn (which I just started last night and am not sure I will continue with or not)

What are you reading/have read/always recommend?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

good mornings

5 a.m. is not my idea of a good beginning. For anything. Except maybe getting up to drive to the airport for a fun trip to...well anywhere. (Top picks today? Madrid, Paris, Vancouver, Seattle, a cabin in a great old green forest) But 5 a.m. to wake up to a crying crabby toddler? Ugh. The biggest problem is that he's as much a morning person as I am. He's almost exactly like me. In the way that we hate the actual Waking Up but once we're up....well, we're up and ready to go. I'm old, though. (hahahaha) Ok. I'm pregnant and TIIIIIIIIRED. There are morning I wake up and feel like I could sleep for a few more weeks. And I feel like crying. And stuffing my head in the pillow and pretending I've suffered a stroke or coma just to get a few more minutes. Sigh.

But. Once we're up...We're UP! And we make breakfast together and laugh together at cracking eggs and eat together and then D signs that he's all done and he runs around playing with the cupboards in the kitchen or the small chalkboard near the table. I love watching him move his small plastic stool around the kitchen just so he can reach the drawer with all the spoons and whisks. And when we're done he pulls his stool over to the dishwasher and helps me put in (the unbreakable) dishes and cups. So it's not all bad. It's nice, actually. Once I get over the whole waking up bit.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

week 13, an update

So far this pregnancy I've:

-been tired
-incredibly tired
-fallen asleep BEFORE D's bedtime, leaving him to jump on my slumbering because, really, is there anything else to do to Mommy? JUMP!
-been pukey
-resolved to never eat anything that wasn't in liquid form. Because....ew....solid food.
-lost 12 pounds
-wondered if I've completely lost my mind
-TWO kids? No one can survive that!!
-Ok, maybe the few billion people who have done this before me...but still.
-found my appetite again.
-ate 4 waffles, a sandwich, two glasses of milk, some cheddar cheese, a pop tart, and some cookies. And that was AFTER lunch.
-gained 5 pounds in the last week alone.
-felt a little more energetic...cautiously energetic.
-and am back to being completely exhausted today. Could sleep for days. But it's a good kind of tired. A do-able tired.
-am craving pumpkin pie.
-have sent husband out for pumpkin pie.
-officially have a baby bump. It popped out before the appetite turned me into a garbage disposal so it can't be all the food I've devoured. Not all if it, anyhow.
-swear I've felt the baby moving.
-did HEAR the baby moving about when I heard the heartbeat last week. Blooop! And that's exactly what it sounded like.
-hope Jim gets here with that pie soon.
-maybe I'll take a nap while I wait.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


We got a membership to the San Diego Zoo and on a whim the other day I decided that Diego and I would drive down there to spend the day. He was the perfect car napper, slept from the minute we got in the car and woke up the second I put the car in park.

(I cheated and put this picture in from another day at the zoo. I just like the light. Here's D pointing to the pigeons in the tropical aviary. Ignoring all other more colorful birds entirely.)

(Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see? Isn't it sad that I think of a that book when I see bears now?)

(Ok, so here we are, looking at some other fluffy and adorable bears and what does Diego go crazy over? There was a duck in his habitat!! Swimming in his pool! HA!)

(D loved the goats. I sat and watched him feed them for a good 20 minutes. I love the children's petting zoo. What? I'm pregnant and wanted to sit.)

(I swear there are a million turtles in there. Just not in this shot. Still, we had a lot of fun at this exhibit. Especially when Diego tried to be all suave and sat down next to a girl, staring at her pretzel and then signed "please?" Hahaha She walked away, hiding her pretzel behind her back.)

And that's the end. Have a lovely Saturday all!!

Friday, May 22, 2009


He loves noodles. Looooooves. And found out the other week that he could eat them really well with chopsticks. I taught him the slurping part. The chopsticks? No idea where he picked that one up. Hehe I just had to share.

Have a great long weekend!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

where oh where is little bunny today?

Places I have found Diego's little bunny
(when I thought the same little bunny was safely in his room):

-In the fridge.
-In a covered sauce pot in the cupboard.
-In Jim's shoe.
-On his bookshelf.
-On the sofa.
-In the car.
-In his stroller.
-In his potty seat (clean, thankfully!).
-In his sand table.
-On the patio.

Diego loves this little bunny. This tiny, 5 or 6 inch tall, light brown bunny that I got for him at Target. It's actually the very first thing I got for him when I found out I was pregnant. I thought I'd buy something tiny and cute. So I did. My only bit of sadness is that he (and I) would DIE if the bunny got lost. Especially now since bunny helps him choose bed time stories and is his constant sleep companion. But I have no way of buying another one since it was a dollar bin buy. And has no tag. And seems impossible to find online. Sigh. So fingers crossed that this little bunny will hide a lot around our house but will never get lost. Can one lo-jack a small stuffed bunny? Just curious.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

happy mother's day

Happy Mother's Day.

To the new moms who are just now holding their baby for the first time and seeing their fingers and tummies and toes.
To the moms who have seen their little ones grow and run away to adulthood. (Seriously, how dare they!)
To the moms battling the lack of sleep, up all night, blood shot and delirious, it gets so much better. Hang in there! You can do it. I know you can.
To the moms giggling in a heap with the kids after a tickle fest.
To the moms crying at kindergarten graduations or high school graduations or college graduations.
To the moms worried all night about all the what ifs.
To the moms feeling isolated and alone (And don't we all feel like that sometimes?) remember to reach out and say hello.
To the moms who have their core group of family and friends, remember to reach out and say hello anyhow.
To the moms I see struggling with cries and tantrums, hold on, this too will pass.
To the moms that have been and the moms that are and the moms that will be.

Have a beautiful day. You deserve it.

Friday, May 8, 2009


I laugh every time I watch this commercial. Yeah, it's a little weird. is my humor. :D hehe My favorite character is the crazy lady who goes around putting things under her shirt because she wants BAAABIES!

Which brings me to this:

That black circle in the middle with the two little bits? It's our newest sideways little bean! Yep. I'm pregnant. Pregnant and pukey and nauseaus and tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired. Happy, excited, elated, and freaked out, too. We're almost at 12 weeks, the little bean is a little under the size of a lemon, and we are expecting to meet him or her around Thanksgiving. A turkey baby! Imagine that...Oh my goodness.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

something (not) said

Court over at Kaiya's Laughter Heals wrote about her daughter's language acquisition a few days ago. It's something we had talked about before (chatting on the phone while we ran after the bustling toddlers) and something that has been on my mind and weighing on my shoulders for too long.

Diego isn't talking yet. At least not much verbally that is. He's 19 months old and has 4 (or 5 if you believe MOO is a word) verbal words and, oh, dozens of non-verbal and sign language words he uses regularly. He's understands everything. He can point to every single item in his many books, heck he can even pull the book I ask for off the shelf. He plays pretend with his toy animals and can feed himself with a fork and spoon. He's climbing up and can almost go down stairs without my help (with my heart in my mouth every time!). And I say these things because feel defensive and mother-bear-ish. But I also need to hear these things, to ingest them and let them strengthen my belief in his abilities.

And the belief in my own abilities as a Mom. Because deep down I think that's what really hurts. Feeling like I've somehow, unknowingly, let D down. So I'm going to focus on the positives. Otherwise I start to dwell on all that I could have done "better," "faster," "with flashcards."

If anyone else if struggling with this, here's a chart I found online that helped put things in perspective. Yes, D is behind on the talking, but he's ahead on so much more. Hope it helps you, too.

(D. looking at me like I'm crazy.)