family, Florida, and how hard it is to come home again

(@ Ft. Lauderdale Beach)

Diego and I went to visit my family in Florida this past week. It was a long, grueling and exhausting trip across the country (sure it was a plane, but two plane flights, one layover, and one bouncy toddler? Oi vey). We were very lucky to be surrounded by lovely people who happened to fall in love with said bouncy toddler and played with him the entire trip there. For some reason Diego loves sitting next to strangers on planes. He'll reach out for them, hold their hands, play games, peek-a-boo, anything and everything that he doesn't really do in any other situation. Odd but wonderful.

Being with family was also fantastic. They fed me rosquitas and empanadas and platanos fritos and arroz chaufa and my mom even made her famous spaghetti with meat sauce. Oh Yum. And it's not just the food. (Really!) We all just had a great time together. I heard stories that I'd never heard before and we all laughed every time we put Diego down to eat. He just kept cracking himself up and laughing for almost no reason, which made us happy. They also have this beautiful patio out back which Diego just loved, so everyone had the chance to help him water the plants.

(pictures above from the Butterfly Garden)

I miss being in a house with lots of people. There's the ever present noise, bustle, aromas and food or coffee being served. There are people watering plants, cooking, or just sitting around watching telenovelas. I grew up in a house filled with people, cousins and Tias and Tios coming and going, eating and talking. I love the quiet, sure, but I miss the noise sometimes.

Coming home was hard. I hate saying good-bye to my Mom, not knowing when I'll see her again. Good-byes to everyone else was also rushed since we were late getting up and out the door. Didn't feel right. The entire plane ride home I kept thinking about how nice it was to have family around, for me and especially for Diego. I kept thinking about how much I haven't enjoyed Orange County. More than that, I hate how lonely and out of place I've felt living here. How people still come up to me and Diego and ask if I speak English and if he's my son. It's been hard for me to find that community I yearn for and I feel like a complete idiot sometimes, falling over myself for friendship with Moms I meet. But I've realized I can't live here and hate it here at the same time.

I need a change in perspective. My goal this year is to really make a home for myself here. Breaking it down to micro-movements with tiny goals each month. This month my goal is to make my little apartment more of a home and less of a place we happen to live in. Starting with the patio. There are big and little plans ahead. So that's what I've learned, I guess. Or something like that.

central texas, holiday 2008 part 1

We've been planning a visit Texas for years and finally got the chance to go back for Christmas. I can't begin to say how excited I was to leave the rolling hills of the OC behind on the way to the airport. This wasn't Diego's first flight, so we weren't worried about him having to drink on the way up or suck a lollipop or anything else they say you HAVE TO DO or the baby will EXPLODE. He prefers to look around and flirt with strangers. I wonder what he thinks of the plane. All these strange people sit down very close to each other, all facing quietly forward. Weird.

After a very long day we arrived at my in-law's house in College Station. We got in later than expected and the only people left were finished eating the elaborate banquet of Chinese chicken, duck, pork, several veggie dishes, and soup and were either playing board games, mah jong or pool. It was quiet. There was the hush of Mandarin and mah jong tiles clinking together in the next room and my mom in-law rushing around the kitchen on a broken foot to get us a plate to eat. We all fell asleep minutes later, with promises of more food the next day.

The next few days we spent in College Station were as usual for our vacations in central Texas; beautifully open and lazy, heavy with the dishes prepared especially for us. Jim's Mom made all his favorite dishes, and even one of mine. (Buns. To die for.) As usual everything was beyond delicious, fresh and tasty and deeply fulfilling. Why is it you can't really enjoy a good home-cooked meal until someone else makes it for you? We also played mah jong and I love mah jong, something about the cold tiles and the laughing when we can't remember the rules, and it was lovely laughing with the family.

We saw a lot of Jim's old friends and got to show off the todler who performed most of his bag of tricks. Ring around the rosy? Easy. Where's your nose? Please. He was a true traveling trooper. Seeing everyone just felt right in Texas. There's something about the big blue sky that says, hey, let's have our friends over for food. It's a friendly state.

It was too soon when we had to say good-bye. But we were off for Austin and nothing was going to stop me from seeing Court, my very bestest friend. We drove back to Austin on a gorgeous shiny day, passing empty fields and roaming long horns on a small two lane highway the entire way.

(Don't miss part 2, coming soon! Toddlers meet for the first time, old friends for the first time as Moms! How exciting. :) )

the balloons in Albuquerque

The flight to ABQ was great. Little D did a great job sitting in our laps, playing with random books, straws, and sometimes even a toy or two that I brought on. His favorite past time on planes so far? Flirting with people. My usually cautious introvert blooms and reaches out from people left and right. Especially hilarious when the person he's reaching out for is asleep or otherwise preoccupied and then he pokes them before I have a chance to pull little fingers away. *

The night we arrived we went to something called the Glow, which was a jumble of people, food, balloons firing up, fireworks and cold, cold air. Diego, for a kid who had only had one nap that day and was awake WAY passed his bedtime, had a great time. He sat peacefully in the sling and watched his older cousins dance around, quiet and happy to sit and look.

We got to my cousin's home that night and literally woke up a few hours later for the very, very early jump on the ballooning day. 4 a.m. is NO time to wake up. Little D didn't. I changed him all ninja like under the blankets so I would wake him, wrapped him in a blanket, and placed the very awake, very pissed off crying bundle in the car for the short ride to the fair grounds. Then wrapped in at least 19 layers of clothing and bundled in the sling we walked around watching the balloons unfurl and wave, shiver and grow. Poor D fell asleep for most of the morning, tired from the day of traveling and miserable in the cold air.


Things I've learned from the Balloon Fiesta:
1. Little D does NOT like being cold.
2. Hot chocolates and breakfast burritos are delicious when freezing.

The rest of the weekend the balloons were grounded due to bad weather and strong winds. So we hung out with the family instead. I've decided that we're going to go back and live in Explora, the science center, so if you have never been you should go now. I loved it there, D loved it there, it was filled with sunlight and exhibits that any kid, from one to 145 would love.

We had a fabulous time (thank you family!) and had a hard time coming back to the more expensive, more crowded Orange County, especially after seeing D grow as he followed his older cousins around. I would love to live closer to family. I would love to be able to one day afford a house. But here we are, making the best of our time in the ever-sunny south O.C.

*Sorry to the lady in aisle 17, sitting by the window. D just loved the polka dots on your shirt.